Monday, February 13, 2012
An Open Letter to Adam Levine of Maroon 5
You don't have "moves like Jagger." Nothing about you is like Mick Jagger. But I was just going to let that go and ignore your silly pop song. But when you sang the Beach Boys' "Surfer Girl" last night, you went too far. It wasn't just bad, it was insulting to the Beach Boys, their fans, and humanity in general. You need to get some perspective bro.
You are basically like Rick Springfield, except Rick Springfield wrote music and didn't use auto-tune to correct being a half-step flat. Your music fills the void that has been left as the result of the demise of Daytime Soap Operas. If you understood that, you would stop pissing on the legacy of the Beach Boys or The Rolling Stones.
But marketing aside, you really just can't sing "Surfer Girl." You were severely out of tune, and your pseudo-funky yelping was painfully de-contextual. If your publicist got you that gig or talked you into doing it, you should fire your publicist.
You may cover Rick Springfield, Gerardo, Milli Vannilli, and maybe even Huey Lewis (but that may be a bit too deep) in the future. But anything else by or about the Beach Boys or The Rolling Stones is off limits.
Thanks Pal. And Good Try.